Theo-blog-ically speaking

Blue Like Jazz - Chapter 1 - Who's Your Daddy?

2011-10-14T05:42:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I sat down to write, and the new book study we're doing at church has inspired me to take up the pen - or, sit at the keyboard, to be more precise. My intention is to blog along with the study of Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz to give you my perspective on some of his "nonreligious thoughts on Christian spirituality." I've enjoyed the book very much - agreeing with some of what he writes, disagreeing with some of what he writes and being shocked into new insights by some of it. It has made me think, laugh, shake my head in disappointment and for all of that I give the book two thumbs up. (You can still join in the study group at New Creation MCC on Wednesday nights at 6:30.)

In Chapter One, Don writes: Today I wonder why it is God refers to Himself as "Father" at all. This, to me, in light of the earthly representation of the role, seems a marketing mistake. Why would God want to call Himself Father when so many fathers abandon their children? Well, my first response is to say that God doesn't refer to "himself" as "Father" - Jesus does! The next part of my response is to bring up the startling revelation that calling God "Father" started long before the current trend of Deadbeat Dads got started. And yet, maybe fathers have always been somewhat "absent" or at least distant - being heads of households can't have been an easy job in any era of world history! In the age of hunters and gatherers, the men usually did the hunting and who knows if they'd come home or not? Men have usually been the warriors and we know that human history is filled with war after war, making some fathers absent again. Even in periods of peace, the rearing of children has been seen as women's work, and children would have had little contact with their Fathers. So despite my snarky reactions, maybe Don has a point - why the parental imagery?

Well, it does bring God closer than images of Heavenly King, Pillar of Fire/Smoke, Sovereign of the Universe, etc. Up until Jesus started talking about God as his Father (and ours) God was considered much more distant and mysterious. Common religious images in the Jewish tradition had expanded to include Sovereign of the Universe, King of the nation, Judge, and even Shepherd, implying more personalized concern. Jesus pushed the evolution of God-language further with his frequent use of "Father" language and it was considered revolutionary! In fact, Jesus went beyond the formal "Father" to use the term "Abba" which is a term of endearment, like calling someone Daddy or Pa Paw or Papi. Jesus was trying to say that God was available, approachable, intimately concerned for each of us, loving, forgiving, etc. If Oprah and Dr. Phil are right when they say it takes a lot more to be a Daddy than to be a Father, then Jesus is making the same point - God wants to be more than an absent or distant Father - God wants to be our Daddy.

I think the problem is that we took the Father image and made it static and claimed it was the new, right, singular image that is the perfect description of God. If Jesus use of parental language was to show the multi-dimensionality of God, then that's the way we should be approaching our language about God. If Jesus was trying to use an image that would shake people up and get them thinking differently about God, then that may be what we should be doing. Whatever images/labels/names we use, the key is to communicate that God is both "out there" running the universe and close to us as well. We should stand in awe of this being who is so clearly a "Higher Power" than we are - and yet we should also be in awe of the fact that this Higher Power has an eye on every sparrow and every person. Like the atmosphere that is so big it encircles our planet to a depth of many thousands of miles and, at the same time, caresses every inch of our bodies, fills our lungs with life and bends light so we can see color and beauty all around us, our God is bigger than big and closer than close at the same time. God's self description seems to be "I am what I am," "I will be what I will be," of maybe "I am that I am" - translators can't quite decide which is most accurate - so maybe we should remember that our God, who "IS," is many things all at the same time.

Burn out in the church

2010-08-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I posted an article to the church's Facebook page about burn out in the church. The article doesn't really say how to fix it, but it's a good article that talks about the paradox of church life. On the one hand, people need the church as a refuge, a place of peace and healing. On the other hand, if people stick around long enough to get involved and volunteer in their church's ministries, there's a good chance they will find more stress, less peace and a variety of tensions. How very, very true.

Congregations rely heavily on volunteer energy to get things done. Very few paid staff exist in most churches - the Pastor, the church secretary, maybe an organist. Some larger churches have associate pastors, janitors, and maybe a church school superintendent, but equally as many churches simply have a paid pastor and EVERY other position is volunteer!

So the article goes on for a bit over two pages describing the paradox and encouraging people to remember that balance is the key to avoiding the burn out that threatens the joy of every church volunteer. Even so, the article never really offering any sort of prescription for avoiding or fixing burn out when it happens. It rightly asks, "How can we recognize holy moments if we are moving so fast that life passes by us in a blur? How can we perceive God's presence in time if our highest priority is accomplishing things?" It rightly notes that church goers, like most folks in the 21st century suffer from "hurry sickness" and need to be encouraged to slow down and pay attention for holy moments and sacred encounters. Still, the article seems to me to ignore an obvious solution that comes straight from my Grandmother's wisdom: "Many hands make light work."

If church members expect a few people to do all the volunteering, then those folks will be more likely to become burned out (and resentful of the pew sitters, besides.) The business world has long told us that 20% of the people in an organization will do 80% of the work (and, in a church, provide 80% of the offering income, besides!) and that the other 80% will only pick up 20% of the workload. That's how it is if groups are left to their own devices. A few hearty souls will try to pick up all the slack they can find, and many others will be happy to let them do it! It's easy in a church to say "Let a board member do it!" or "Let the Deacons handle it!" or "I expect the Pastor to take care of that." Sometimes, those are appropriate responses. Often, they are not. What if we could get that 80/20 ratio spread out much more broadly, and get nearly every member into some sort of ministry?

I am so pleased to be able to say that while I suspect some of our core folks at New Creation MCC may be approaching burn out, the trend lately has been for more folks to step forward and take up a share of the load. Many hands DO make light work, and if lots of people volunteer to do a little bit, pretty soon the whole task would be cared for in ways that need not burn anybody out. Even if people volunteer for a job that's not exactly joy inducing in and of itself, like the gal who now takes the trash home with her each week so the church doesn't have to pay for trash removal, she can take joy in knowing she's saving the church money and providing for the health and safety of the congregation by removing the trash in a timely fashion!

Yes, churches can be a potential source of stress and burn out in a person's life. One way to avoid that is to encourage many members to pick up one or two small tasks and spread the load over many shoulders and schedules. Maybe if we continue to do that, as the article says, "some people will find joy, satisfaction and meaning in their service in their congregation. They will experience holy moments as they serve. Their service will actually have aspects that are refreshing to them." I can only hope and pray!

Martha and MCC - distraction free

2010-08-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

Martha was a woman of faith - she was a friend of Jesus who regularly welcomed him into the home she shared with her sister, Mary, and her brother, Lazarus. She knew Jesus as Lord and Savior, as teacher, as virtual brother and friend. She cared about extending hospitality to him and was close enough to him to cross conventional boundaries between men and women to speak openly and honestly with him about her feelings. When she does so in story recounted in Luke 10, Jesus tells her she's anxious and distracted by many things. She's a woman of faith, working for the Messiah (preparing his lunch!) and yet she's distracted.

We, too, are a people of faith. We know and love the Risen Christ, feel God's presence regularly in our midst and we often seek the movement of the Holy Spirit to guide us, empower us in loving our neighbors, and renew our souls. We are people of faith, who do a lot in the name of the God of love. And we've been greatly distracted for the last several months by money issues. Well, the Board has been, anyway. I suspect a lot of us have been, but money is such a taboo subject that outside the Board meetings, it was probably the invisible elephant in our midst a lot of the time!

We've been anxious and distracted, because our members and friends have felt the pressure of the global economic troubles and every month that had total offerings lower than what we needed to pay the bills, we took money out of the only "savings" we had - the building fund. The Board tried to juggle funds as best it could, and instituted a number of cost saving measures. We switched phone and Internet providers; we reduced the number of color copies we produce (black and white is cheaper!); we reduced the number of copies we produce, regardless of color; we programmed and reprogrammed the thermostat to reduce energy consumption when the building is empty; we leave lights off in the halls and rooms that aren't in use; we recycle both aluminum and metal cans brought in by members and friends for cash; we've switched nearly all the light bulbs to compact fluorescent ones, and the rest will be switched soon; we planned and executed as many fund raisers as we could think of. The Board and finance committee explored a number of things that didn't pan out in the end, but they brainstormed and checked everything they could think of to lower our expenses. And still the distraction remained - would we have to borrow from the building fund again this month? Finally, a second distraction became the size of the building fund itself. If we used much more of it, we wouldn't have any for emergency repairs. We were anxious, distracted, and worried about the finances.

It would be nice to say that we all prayed, and Jesus healed our anxiety, and we were reassured by the promise that if we sought the dominion of God, all would be provided. That's not the case. We couldn't shake our anxiety that way, yet we knew it had to be shaken off or we would not be able to choose the better part - to sit at Jesus' feet to learn and grow, to love our neighbors, to seek God's realm among us. So, the Board opted to do the only other thing that seemed viable - remove the thing that distracts us by making one more cut to our expenses so that the income we have will be enough. For sure. No doubts. No borrowing. No distractions. The only thing left to cut was the pastor's salary. And so, my hours were also adjusted, so that I'd work 2/3 time for 2/3 pay for the rest of 2010. It is the hope of the Board and the finance committee (and this pastor!) that we'll be able to go back to full hours and full pay in 2011, but the reduction may extend into the first quarter. We'll have to see how the economy goes.

Here's the funny thing, though: the Board wrestled with this decision for a few months and during that time, our offerings began to increase. In fact, we've paid all our bills, including the mortgage out of the general fund (no borrowing from the building fund) for May, June, July and August. We had nine friends of the church pledge a special donation - they believe in us - and yet the regular offerings seem to have gone up as well. Together, the worries are gone. Having recognized that too much energy was going into worry, and being willing to give up our worry in a practical (if not entirely spiritual) way, God seems to have responded by inspiring greater generosity. As we continue to let go of our worry, and focus on loving our neighbors and planting seeds for the dominion of God, I believe we will be taken care of. I will be taken care of. We will all sit down together and our gifts will be blessed and multiplied, and no one will go away hungry.

Universes Collide

2010-07-22T07:06:00.000-07:00

The other day, my universes collided. At least three of them. Here's how...

I was driving home from the church one afternoon, listening to a book about rafting in the Grand Canyon. Lots of descriptions about the beauty of the natural world - canyon walls, the colors of the water, the sky overhead, clouds and moon and stars and sunlight "sliding down the canyon walls." Lots of personal interactions, group dynamics and individual angst going on. Listening to fiction on my commute is recreational for me - so I was relaxing, cruising along (literally, with the cruise control on so I don't get caught up in a book and get a speeding ticket) at one with the road and the not-so-Grand-Canoyn-ish beauty around me. And then I notice it - a really strange cloud formation that has stripes in it. No kidding - tiny little gaps in parallel lines and curves and dips that let the blue sky show through. That's when the first collision happened. I wondered to myself, "How would you paint that on canvas?"

I missed the next several minutes of the book as I thought about all the various colors I'd need - white, gray, blue, lavender, and several combined shades in between. I'd have to paint the sky and let it dry before adding the clouds in order to have nice, clear blue sky show through the striped clouds. And how to create that effect?

Second collision - my Do-It-Yourself TV addiction kicking in: use a notched trowel, of course! If it's good enough for putting thin-set on the floor before laying tiles, it'd be perfect for scraping off parallel lines of cloud colored paint! But, no, it'd be too wide - I'd have to do this by hand with a toothpick, or a lollipop stick. And, bam - my mind is running around the floor plan of the local Michael's Arts and Crafts store trying to find a tiny little notched trowel-like tool, so I don't have to do all the stripes individually. Maybe a toy rake? A little, wooden, Zen-garden-rake-the-sand rake? I would have to check the candle aisle (sometimes Zen gardens come with candles as well as pebbles!)

In the space of a few miles, I'd traveled from the Grand Canyon to Union County, to Michael's in Dublin, to wherever Amy Mathews does her "Sweat Equity" gig and back again! And then I thought how much easier it is for God to just wave a hand and "make it so." Then I realized that God probably hadn't waved a hand at all - but, at the beginning of time, set in motion a set of natural laws that amount to a recipe. When the wind speed is thus, humidity at that level, clouds at such-and-such an altitude, etc., etc., etc. - the result is an unusual cloud formation that will amaze and stir wonder in anyone who takes the time to notice.

So, just before I backed up a few tracks on the CD and picked up the story where my mind went leapfrogging through creative space, I realized once again that maybe that's one of the ways we're created in God's image - as creative beings; problem solvers; imaginers and beauty-makers. God may work on the canvas of the cosmos, but we can each have our own canvas, yard, wall, floor, cloth, musical instrument, etc. to work with. How you put together your clothing/jewelry/shoes is creative. How you plan a meal is creative. How you place knickknacks on your desk is creative. You are a child of the Creator - so use Tinkertoys, thin-set and granite, or a choice of accessories for your wardrobe, but let your worlds collide and create!

First 5-Minute Vacation

2010-07-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

In the last post, I dared anyone reading all the way to the end to take two "five-minute vacations" each day and see how God might be revealed in the world around them. I decided to take my own challenge and the first tiny miracle happened in an accidental vacation this morning on the porch.

I had gone out to sit in the cool of the morning to finish reading "The Shack" in preparation for the last discussion session on Monday evening. (Yes, group members, I found my copy of the book - riding around safely in the back seat of my car!) I had settled into my chair, book in one hand, pink high-lighter in the other when I heard a familiar and welcome sound - hummingbird wings. I almost always hear the hummers before I see them and once you've heard the distinctive whirring of their wings, you always know when one's around. So I heard the hummingbird and turned toward the feeder hanging from the edge of the porch's roof a few feet away. Sure enough, a little female was making her way from one tube to the next, finally settling on the one that was most full for a quick sip of breakfast. She didn't stay long, but I did notice that each of the three nectar tubes had a bright, sparkling drop at its bottom edge. Glistening in the sunshine, a single drop of nectar seemed to be leaking out of each. I suppose it might have been left-over dew, but my thought at the time was that it must be a drop of nectar.

I noticed each shimmering drop and went back to my book. Another whirring of wings and another hummer had some breakfast. A page or two later, another whirring and this time, my 5-minute vacation miracle: this hummer collected each of the single drops of nectar trying to drip off the edge of each tube.

I couldn't see the hummers tongue as it flicked off the sugary droplet. I didn't even really see the drop disappear, not really. But at the end of each tube, the sparkle dimmed and winked out before the hummer moved to the next and the next. The sparkle just went out...and that was my evidence that this hummer had an appetizer of three drops before settling it to sip at one of the tubes.

That was cool - but here's the miracle, the insight that goes with it: We often don't see what God is doing, directly, we only see the evidence. OK - maybe we all knew that already, but it was an awesome reminder for me! Our human sense just aren't tuned in to the spiritual realm most of the time, and we miss an awful lot of what God's doing. And even if we could see it, or know we ARE watching something amazing, sometimes it's just too...too...Godly to catch. Just like the flicking of a hummingbird tongue is too small and too fast for me to see from 5 feet away, some of what God does is so fast and so smooth that - even when we know we're seeing something happen - we don't actually see the action. We have to wait for the evidence. The sparkle has to wink out. The empty cupcake paper has to show up in the trash.

We may go through all of our lives never being able to catch God doing something, but the evidence is all around us. It's in the hummingbird nectar disappearing; in the rice sized shells making it to the shore without breaking; in hearts healing. What's your evidence that the dominion of God has come near? What's your evidence that the hand of God has touched you? And how's your 5-minute vacation challenge coming along? It's Saturday - maybe this would be a good day to start...for there are blessings waiting in something as simple as a bird at a feeder!

Beach envy

2010-07-08T13:22:00.001-07:00

So...the adult daughter of one of our members is visiting Ohio from California and has been a delight to have around! This week, she's in South Carolina visiting a friend while she's "out east." First of all, having a daughter in CA myself, I understand that once you've already come 3,000 miles or so to visit home, what's a few hundred more to visit someone else? Second of all, I find myself deep into beach envy.

I suddenly realize how much I've missed vacationing in the far southern reaches of SC myself. For several years, I went with my partner and a friend every year in the fall when it was off season's cheaper prices and yet still warm enough to wade in the ocean and spend oodles of outdoor time. These hard economic times have made it necessary to do "stay-cations" the last year or two and so I'm deeply into beach envy.

I'm remembering all the deeply spiritual moments that time on the beach has to offer. Some of my best Margaret's Minutes for the church newsletter have come from insights gained at the beach. Some of my greatest healing has come from insights gained at the beach. There's nothing like the changing details brought by high and low tides to remind one that no matter how bad or wonderful things seem right now, the tide is going to turn and a million little things will change - so what are the big fixtures that you can focus on even as you allow the small stuff to come and go? Some of my greatest delights have come on the beach! Like the first year we took Radar (a lab mix) and he dug and dug in the sand - sending a spray out behind him that looked like it should have come straight from a cartoon! Or the first time he went body surfing in the ocean and loved it while the other dog, Bradley, stood shyly on the shoreline.

Oh, yes, I have beach envy and I have it bad. I just posted a message on Kim's Facebook page, encouraging her to watch a sunrise over the ocean, eat some grits, look for shark's teeth and shells...all the things I would do if I was there. I keep looking up from my desk to view the decorative jar full of tiny, tiny shells on the shelf just above my computer monitor - some smaller than a grain of fine rice, yet perfectly intact. The largest shell in the jar is still only about the size of a sunflower seed! I remember marveling at how such small things can make it to shore, get walked on, be blown around and dug through and still be unbroken.

Here's the thing - what is it about going to the beach, or on any vacation, that makes it so much better than our "regular" life? Why do I (and maybe you on some days) fail to notice all the same sorts of lessons and fail to take the same sorts of joys from the world that is right in front of me? Why are we in such a rush through our normal days that we fail to see the miracles, the joy, the majesty around us? It's there - just last night, Radar tried to catch a lightening bug. I'm glad he missed - it would have tasted nasty! - but it made me smile with the same joy as watching him dig in the sand. Was I lucky to be there when he did it, or was it just that I was paying attention for a change?

Mindfulness - paying attention - being fully present - call it what you will - is a key component to healthy spirituality. Being present in your own life and body; being mindful of the consequences (for both good and ill) of your actions/words/thoughts; paying attention to the movement of the Spirit in your life; being aware of the "love that will not let us go" - these lead to balance. They lead to the shalom of our Hebrew cousins. They lead to the Peace that passes all understanding. They lead us into the heart of the Divine.

So, who needs a beach? Or a mountaintop? Or the Grand Canyon??? There are wonders all around you and all around me. Take a 5 minute vacation once or twice a day to pay attention, to rest, to really see/hear/smell/taste/touch your world. Try it for a week or two and then notice if your ability to notice things all day long doesn't shift and change. This is your summer spiritual discipline - take two, five-minute vacations every day and watch what God reveals to you, reveals in you, and blesses you with. I dare you!

Religious but not spiritual

2010-06-14T06:26:00.000-07:00

In my sermon on June 13, 2010, I talked about how two characters in the Gospel story saw things differently - one from a religious point of view and one from a spiritual point of view. They saw the same event, and interpreted it very differently because of their difference in viewpoint. I want to explore that notion a little more in this blog post.

In my opinion, religion is supposed to be the template in which we learn about spiritual realities. It's like the house that becomes a home as you decorate it in keeping with your tastes; share meals with friends and family; laugh and cry; crank up the stereo; sleep deeply and pace the floors. A house becomes a home as it's lived in and loved in. Religion is very much the same - it becomes a special part of our lives as we experience spiritual things because of it. Religion gives us a framework in which to explore prayer, sacred music, baptism, communion, discussing sacred texts, etc. For some, however, religion becomes a substitute for spirituality instead of a springboard into it.

Being religious but not very spiritual is a really safe way to go in life. If you follow the rules, you rarely get in trouble. If you're worried about a judging God, then following the rules is a safe path to follow. I'm wondering, though, if safe is the way we're supposed to take life. Many years ago, a supervising denominational representative sent me a bumper sticker that said "Faith takes risk." Stepping out in faith, waiting on God to reveal the next step, praying - all these things involve a certain amount of risk. Will God say "yes" or "no?" Will the way be made clear? And what happens if I've got it wrong? Will God forgive me and let me try again? Being religious is safe - being spiritual means taking risks.

Many years ago, a soloist at church sang a song of which I only remember one line: "Ships are safe within the harbor, but is that what ships are for?" The ship of religion is meant to take us out into deep water, to new ports, on adventures, and to deliver good news to those in other ports. The house of religion is meant to become the home of spirituality as we develop relationships with God, ourselves and the people around us. To be religious without being very spiritual is to be a house that sits staged and ready for purchase, but not lived in; a ship waiting patiently at the dock and never getting to go out to sea.

So, is it better to be spiritual but not very religious? I don't think so. I truly believe that a community of faith is important for our development. To be sure, we need to do our own individual prayer and devotions. I just think it's important to have both public worship and public acts of kindness, justice, service, etc. as well. If we follow the analogy of religion being like a home, I have to ask this: who wants to be spiritually homeless? Not me! I don't want to substitute religion for spirituality and neither do I want to reject religion as useless, empty, safe but unfulfilling. I want to let religion anchor me enough to take a risk spiritually, knowing I've got a bed to come home to at the end of the adventure.

God's Boundaries

2010-06-11T07:30:00.001-07:00

"God's boundaries" - that's the title of a recent devotional in Joyce Meyer's book "New Day New You." I like this essay and for once, find nothing to argue with her about! In this devotion, she says: "The word stress was originally an engineering term used to refer to the amount of force a beam . . . could bear without collapsing under the strain. In our time, the word has been expanded to refer not only to physical pressure but also to mental and emotional tension. As human beings, you and I are built to handle a normal amount of stress. God has created us to withstand a certain amount of pressure and tension. The problem comes when we push ourselves beyond our limitations, beyond what we were intended to bear without permanent damage. . . . [I]f you become sick as a result of running your body down by pushing it beyond the limits God set for you . . . you need rest as well as prayer to restore your health."

Sometimes, of course, the stress we bear is put upon us by others and circumstances beyond our control. A lot of us tend to think we need to just suck it up and continue to struggle along as best we can. It's at this point that I believe we need to set some healthy limits of our own on whatever portions of our lives we actually do have control over. Your boss is a jerk? You can't change that, but you can think seriously about looking for a different job, or transferring within your company to another department. Your kids or pets are out of control? Sign up for a class on parenting, read a book by whoever is our generation's answer to Dr. Spock, enroll your dog in obedience classes, sign yourself up for a massage. None of those things are options? Then find a hobby, so you can begin to intentionally bring joy into your life on a regular basis.

I mean it - get a hobby. Play your favorite music in the car whenever you're in it. Watch a sunset; eat the ice cream; find something that makes you laugh. By bringing joy into your life, you help strengthen your spirit, your immune system and probably your mental health. All of that strengthening will help you bear the load you have no control over. It may not reduce the amount of stress you're under in a clinical sense, but it will help reduce the effects of the stress. A beam (or a person) may be designed to carry a certain amount of stress or tension, but if that beam (or person) has a supporting pole, or wall, it can hold up a lot more. In this day, we tend to think of a crutch as something we don't want to rely on. We want to support our own weight, our own stress, without a nasty, demeaning, "shows-just-how-weak-we-really-are" crutch. Lots of people consider religion a crutch for the weak along with 12-Step groups, therapy, etc., but the crutch of joy is one that's easy to get in place and it can do a world of good.

No one lives a life that's stress free - the only real question is, are we strong enough to bear our normal level of stress? I mean, let's go back to Joyce's image of a beam in a building. Do you think it groans all day under it's load? If the building has been built properly, the amount of stress on any particular beam is within its capacity to bear it without difficulty. In fact, the building is probably made so that when people or furniture or goods for sale are added to the weight of the structure, the beams are still within their ability to bear the load easily. We're made the same way. There's a level of stress that we're meant to handle regularly, and we're probably strong enough to handle a bit more beside. Joy, friends, a spiritual relationship with the Holy, rest, prayer, and probably many more things, continually strengthen us and help prop us up in the periods when life is harder than normal. Don't be afraid to rest - after all, even God rested on the seventh day. If you're life isn't looking like something you can declare as good, take a break. Rest. Pray. Laugh. And, as Joyce says, remember that the boundaries God sets are for your own good!

99 Things to do between Here and Heaven #3 Read a Gospel in one sitting

2010-06-09T04:31:00.000-07:00

A lot of people have set out to read the entire bible in a year. They're often encouraged to read a chapter or two from an Old Testament book and then a chapter or two from a New Testament book, working their way through the whole thing over time. Of course, they finish the New Testament much more quickly than the Old - it's a lot shorter! Some folks simply start at Genesis and try to slog their way through the whole thing in the order we have it today. Generally, those folks get bogged down in Leviticus or Deuteronomy. What if we set our sights on a smaller chunk? Read a gospel (or any book of the Bible, for that matter) as if it were a short story all by itself (which it is!) and see if you don't have more luck.

"99 Things to do between Here and Heaven" suggests curling up with your Bible, a box of chocolates, your favorite beverage, or "whatever would usually accompany an evening's entertainment." Can you imagine yourself with a bowl of popcorn, or a cup of hot chocolate, or even a glass of wine and your Bible? Can you see yourself in your favorite recliner, or curled at the end of the couch, with an afghan over your lap and a cat curled by your side or the dog at your feet? I suspect most of us have a little trouble seeing ourselves with our Bible in that way. But, again, think of it as a collection of short stories (or, in the case of the Psalms, a collection of prayers, songs and poems) and set out to read one story at a time. Read it all the way through - without chopping it up into little vignettes like we do on Sunday morning. This isn't about dissection - it's about seeing the big sweep and the whole story that the writer might have been trying to tell. Some of these short stories will move you and some may bore you. Some may seem tedious, but watch for the gem hidden in it somewhere. And finish any book you start, even if you're not thrilled with it. At least then, if you say "I hate 2 Kings" at least you can do it honestly!

Let's get back to the Gospel stories for a minute. "99 Things..." does a nice job of explaining why the Gospels are so different. Each writer had an agenda and a style of their own. Mark is simple, straight forward and packed with action. It moves right along from one event to another. Matthew wanted to show how Jesus' life fulfilled Old Testament prophecy, so he included references to the scriptures that his Jewish audience would have been familiar with and made a point of drawing out the connections. Luke seems to have wanted to point out the purpose of Jesus' life in terms of salvation, reconciliation, and the renewal of God's people. And then John, who wrote much later than the others, and who stressed the notion that Jesus and God were part and parcel of each other - that Jesus was Divine - that Jesus was the very Word of God, "come to dwell among us." Reading each Gospel like a short story, from beginning to end, will help us see those trends and styles.

So, set aside a few evenings or early mornings if you prefer, and read the Gospels one by one, each as a complete story. "Take the entire, compelling sweep of [Jesus'] life in its excitement, tragedy and triumph." And one last thing: "Try to pretend you don't know how it ends."

What a friend we have...

2010-06-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

As I prepared for a memorial service recently, I got down my copy of Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet" to see if there was a nice, poetic nugget I might be able to use. I found these lines in the passage about friendship:

"Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace. . . . [W]hat is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

At membership class recently, one person said she wanted to become a member of the church because she'd "fallen in love with God, again" after becoming a regular attender. I think being in love with God, having God as a friend, sharing pleasures and laughter with God, reaping thanksgiving that's born out of a good connection on a regular basis sounds like a really good description of what it means to be a Christian. God is there to fill our needs, to fill our lives with meaning, to fill our hours with life...to show us how to be whole and balanced and joyful. Yep, that's the kind of friendship I want to develop. Not always going to God just when I'm burdened, but when I'm ready for a good belly laugh. It starts with just spending time, though, doesn't it?

After all, my best buddy Susan got to be my best friend over many dinners in the dining hall at BGSU and study sessions and games of billiards. Our friendship grew in the little things, and was there to sustain us in the big ones - like when our fathers died, or when her husband disappeared in a suicidal funk with at least one loaded hand gun. It was the same with my partner, Stephanie. We started out spending time because we had a mutual friend. Small talk became getting together for lunch once in a while which became long afternoons talking while the kids played at the local park...which deepened into a love that lasted 22 years. Can you imagine having that sort of relationship develop with God? Wow - that's worth aiming for! And it starts with little things that are like dew in the morning, refreshing the soul.

Not sure how to get started? Well, having mutual friends might help. Come to church; join a yoga class or a reading group; start hiking or getting out in nature; sing with a choir; join a 12-step support group. Let other people help introduce you to the One you want to be friends with. Let them help fill the silences while you find your own comfort level and the issues you connect with best. Let some activities help you get comfortable in each others' presence. Eventually, you won't need the help of others or the crutch of a structured activity, just as friends eventually move beyond going to dinner and a movie and slip into being able to just call each other up at 2am when they need to talk. And trust me - what better bff could you possibly ask for?

Me and the AIDS Memorial Quilt

2010-06-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

Sunday, May 30, 2010 - that's a day I saw the AIDS Memorial Quilt panel with my brother's name on it. I stood inches from the panel, just feet from his name, carefully stenciled in white letters on a blue background. There were a couple of dozen names on that panel, and it was one of 22 nearly identical panels laid out on the floor of the ballroom at the downtown hotel where the International Gay Bowling Organization (IGBO) was holding its annual tournament and conference. Sixteen years after his death, and countless hours spent wondering if any of his gay friends, or HIV+ friends had ever made him a panel, I finally knew. There's no solitary panel for him, but he is remembered with friends and fellow bowlers as a beloved member of a community that refuses to act like AIDS is over; that refuses to forget; that keeps on loving and celebrating life even in the face of loss.

As I prepared the AIDS Memorial Service for that afternoon, I had my moments of sadness for Ken and the MCC folks I've known over the years who have lived with HIV and have died of AIDS related complications. But when it came right down to it, standing there at the panel, it wasn't so bad. I really have made my peace with his death, and I am free to rejoice in the life he lived. What a gift!

What hit me was standing back and looking at all twenty-two panels. Name, after name, after name. There is a great cloud of witnesses around us and their deaths have impacted us deeply. My prayer is that we heal the loss enough to celebrate what their lives gave us; how their lives impacted us; how their lives "complicated" ours in wonderful and amazing ways. If all we ever feel is the sorrow of their deaths, then maybe their lives were lived in vain.

As I looked over the heads of those gathered for the service, I realized that we really can see it as so much loss, or so much love. We can choose, and it's our choosing that either moves us toward greater healing or leaves us stranded in sorrow. We can see the enormity of the loss and shake our heads in bewildered confusion at the senselessness of young lives lost at the peak of their creativity and vision and energy, or we can see the amazing impact these individuals had and know that the world is a better place for their having been in it! After all, "the only measure of our words and our deeds will be the love we leave behind when we're gone." The sting of death is realizing there will be no more hugs, or romantic dinners, or walks on the beach, or whatever it was we shared special with our loved ones. And that's true, and that's why it stings. Still, it's also true that nothing can separate us from the love they've left behind. It lives in us. So we remember, and we tell stories, and we make quilt panels, and we make sure the love lives on by paying it forward on their behalf.

2010-05-24T11:45:00.000-07:00

My father was a bowler. I can’t remember a time in my childhood when he didn’t go out on Thursday nights to bowl with other men from the newspaper where he worked. Most of them worked in the print room, some drove the trucks that delivered papers around town. Only a few of the “white collar” folks bowled on the league. My Dad was one of them. He’d drink a beer or two with the guys and smoke a few cigarettes and then stop at McDonald’s to bring home milkshakes for my Mom and the kids who were still living at home. It was a highlight in the week and we all looked forward to it.

Unlike golf, which my father played and taught my brothers how to play, bowling was for the whole family. We all had our own shoes and hand towels with our names stenciled on them, right below a cute little ball and pin logo! The towels were bright orange and it was impossible to miss them when packing up at the end of the night. None of us ever lost our towels! We bowled on the weekends sometimes, but not every week like Daddy did with his league. When we went, it was all about being together and getting chips and cola at the snack bar, and playing a game of pinball before going home. Mom even had her own ball, and we were told that if we liked to bowl well enough, we’d get a ball once we’d grown enough to know how heavy it should be.

When I was in college, my Dad had a heart attack. Not a hugely serious one, but bad enough. He took some time off work. He took some time off from bowling. Back then, they didn’t start cardiac rehab right away like they do now, and he was never sure what he could safely do and what he couldn’t. He got depressed – he missed his time with the guys. He could give up the beer and smokes for the sake of his health – but he missed his buddies. After a year or so, he went back to bowling. His first night back, he was half way to a perfect game when he had another heart attack. He never brought milk shakes home again. Some years later, I asked my Mom if she was ever mad at him for going to the lanes that night. She said she wasn’t. “What better way to go than doing what you love with your best friends around you?” What better way, indeed!

My brother Ken kept bowling, long after the rest of us hung up our orange towels. I didn’t really know it until he died. When Ken died, my other brothers went to his house to look for valuables they should secure. What they found was a newsletter for a gay bowling league. “Why would he have a newsletter from a gay bowling league?” I got the joyful duty of confirming that Ken, like me, was gay. They were stumped. They’d never guessed. Never dreamed… So clean cut… An Eagle Scout…

When Daddy went bowling, he got to shed his white shirt and tie and just be one of the guys. When Ken went bowling, he got to leave his carefully constructed closet and just be one of the guys. We all need something like that, where we can leave pretense and roles behind and can just be ourselves for a little while. We all need friends like that, who don’t care which side of the building you work in or who you sleep with. If you’ve got either one, be very grateful. If you don’t, maybe we should go bowling someday…

99 Things to do between Here and Heaven - #1 Watch a Sunrise

2010-05-18T07:12:00.000-07:00

The last few days here in central Ohio have been so cloudy that watching a sunrise has been nearly impossible! However, I agree with this lovely, newly discovered book, that watching a sunrise is something to be done purposefully and with great attention while we live on this little orb of earth. "99 Things to do between Here and Heaven" is sort of the ultimate bucket list for the spiritually minded. I will use it as a jumping off point for more than one blog essay in the coming months. Want to help check off all 99 items? Then come with me on this adventure and lets see how many items we can accomplish together!

"Watch the sun rise" is the first item in the book, and it's something I've done many times. As an adult, my favorite version of this exercise has got to be watching the sun come up over the Atlantic Ocean from the vantage point of the beach at Edisto Island, SC. The sky lightens, and lightens; the clouds on the horizon begin to glow; and then it just pops up - a bright orange ball of amazing glory. Here at home, nearly the same thing happens on a clear day, with the sun coming up over the corn field across the road from my front porch. While it's easier to catch the sun rise on vacation for some reason, it's probably more important to do it on a regular work day. Before "the grind" begins, have a moment of awe!

"99 Things..." explains why the sunrise looks the way it does. It says: "The spectacular colors are due to an effect called Rayleigh scattering. Particles in our atmosphere cause the light of the sun, which is constantly white, to split into its component colors. The most common particles, oxygen and nitrogen, cause the light to be scattered at the frequency we observe as being in the blue spectrum, so the sky appears blue when the sun is overhead. During the sunrise, the distance the light travels to our eyes is greater, so the blue light is more scattered. As a result, more the light from the read and orange spectrum reaches our eyes, sometimes with a dazzling impact." Yeah, on these cloudy Ohio mornings, the effect isn't so dazzling -but on a clear morning, dazzling is the right word for it! The thing is, you need to be somewhere with a bit of a hofizon... If you can't see the sun coming up until it's halfway overhead, the scattering of the light will be settling in to that blue spectrum, and the dazzle will be gone.

So take the time to plan a chance to really see the sun rise somewhere. Get out of town so you can see it come up over a field, a lake, the ocean, etc. Or get up high enough that the cityscape around you can reflect the colors instead of blocking your view. Get up early enough to be ahead of it. Wait for it. Notice the changes to the darkness as it approaches. Ponder what the symbolism of the sunrise might mean for you, or just breathe deeply and sit in awe. One of the Psalmists says we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" and so is our world. Thank you, God, for creating this world so that something simple like the constant rising of the sun can be a constant source of beauty and blessing!

Planting Time

2010-05-10T06:10:00.000-07:00

(The original version appeared as a Margaret's Minute in the newsletter of New Creation Metropolitan Community Church in June, 2006.)

A few weeks ago, during a worship service, a line of scripture caught my eye. It contained the simple word "planted." I immediately thought about the garden being put in at my house. It's the first garden we've had in years, and the only reason we have it is because we had to have nearly an acre of land dug up so our septic system could be brought up to code. With all that turned over soil, it seemed like a sin not to make use of it!
So putting in the septic system made it possible to have a garden, and when the scripture talked about something being planted, I thought: "Sometimes, before you can plant anything new, you have to take care of the sh*t." I know, I know - not very reverent for a Sunday morning, huh? But even if the language wasn't reverent, the thought was theologically sound. If God is going to plant the law of love in your heart, or make a new covenant by implanting your spirit with newness, you better believe that the old cr*p needs to be dealt with!
The good news is, God's in the compost business. Septic systems are the Spirit's specialty! In one of the Psalms, God promises to throw our sins as far away from us as the east is from the west and never call them to mind again. To flush the pipes from my house, it takes one acre of land and I'm not sure how many linear feet of pipe. Praise God for all the extra distance put between me and my past faults and failures - my spiritual cr*p - and you and yours.
In the septic system, the pipes take many twists and turns and contain holes that allow fluid to seep out. The contractor tells us we should get stripes in the yard, because the grass right above the pipes will be better fertilized than the rest. Wouldn't it be wonderful if, along the way to the farthest reaches of the universe, my sins, failings and mistakes could be transformed into something useful, like some sort of fertilizer for my soul?
If it's laid out right, the septic system will be sure to fertilize the new growth rather than burn it or poison the soil. A soul that's done it's work right won't be poisoned by the past or by toxic relationships, either. That work is mostly about surrendering to God's presence - accepting God's forgiveness - letting God sort things out - letting go remove your sins as far as the east is from the west - letting God help heal the effects of other people's sins. And just like our new garden, God can then plant all sorts of new seeds in the soil of your heart, your life, and your spirit, which bring a bountiful blessing to you for years to come!

Clutter

2010-04-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

I met with a beloved colleague of mine recently, chatting in her office about the power of prayer. I took note of her office as I entered and realized that it had a certain Zen quality of simplicity to it. There was no clutter on her desk - minimal artwork on the walls - no potted plants - modest bookshelves but no overflowing library of commentaries and theological books. As we talked, she commented that she reads quite a lot - 45 or 50 books a year, or about one per week. So why the scarcity of books in the office? Surely, she doesn't get them all from the library!
And where are all the projects that she's surely working on?

I think about my own office. It's true that when I moved from the old office into the new one, I changed things a bit, but there are still small gifts given to me by various folks over the years; artwork from a variety of sources; family photos; a boom box and CD collection; potted plants and vases of silk flowers... I frown over the piles of unfinished work on my desk, but take great delight in the wide variety of colors, textures, images and the meanings embedded in so many parts of the room. I have my desk for "working" and I have a space for praying and I have a space for chatting and that helps me focus better. At home I have bookshelves crammed with seminary texts, books recommended by colleagues, things I thought looked fascinating and couldn't resist. But, is it clutter?

On Oprah's show one time, there was a guest who defined two types of clutter: the "I-might-need-this-some-day" clutter and the "this-is-related-to-my-past" clutter. Their conversation focused on one main point - if your life/space/time is filled with things that you might use someday (pull you into the future) or that you can't bear to give up (tie you to the past) then you never fully function in the here and now; never fully enjoy the gifts of the present moment; never really know the power of today. I was surprised at how much sense that simple statement made to me. It's so important to strike a balance between honoring our history, knowing where we come from, understanding our roots and getting a clear vision for the future, finding our way into who we're called to be. That balance place is where we actually live and move and have our being. That balance place is today.

Of course, some of the difference between my office and that of my friend has to do with personality types... All those colors and shapes are distracting for her where they're not for me. Still, around the room there are shades of the past and things that pull me toward "some day" and the reality of today is piled up on my desk. Surrounded by yesterday and looking forward to tomorrow, I try to manage the needs of today.

Jesus said that we should take care, for where our treasure is, that's where our hearts will be. What's your treasure? What's in your clutter? Is you heart still waiting for some day to come, when things will be right or perfect or fixed? Is your heart living in yesterday, when things were clearer or simpler? Do you long for answers, or miss the days when you seemed to have all the answers? You (and I!) might be wise to examine your hearts, minds, souls and surroundings for signs of clutter and commit to letting the clutter go. Keep what inspires you. Keep what defines you. Let go of whatever distracts you from the fullness of life God intends for you.

What was and is and can be

2010-04-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

Last summer, a trio of things happened that all entered my awareness in ways that seemed to intersect in an important way, and I want to explore the possible meaning of them with you.

The first thing that happened had to do with a game of Yahtzee. I have a small handheld version of the game, and enjoy playing it. The scoring rules are the same as the original version with dice. The total score is the combination of two subtotals, one of which has to do with rolls comprised of all one number. You know how it goes: there's a section made up of straights and full houses and, of course, the yahtzee and the other has to do with how many ones, twos, threes, etc. For this portion of the score, you get a bonus if you reach 63 points. To reach 63, you have to have minimum rolls of three each of the ones, twos, threes, etc. When I play, I'm watching for groups of three so I can keep track of whether or not I'll get that bonus! So, there I am, playing my game and on the particular roll of interest, the electronic dice give me a scattering of numbers. I decide to go for twos and press the button that lets me “keep” the two and roll again. I scan the results quickly – no twos – roll again. Just as I press the button to roll, I realize what I have seen. It’s true, there were no twos, but there were three fours. I threw away a perfectly good roll of fours because I was going so fast, and was so focused on what I wanted that I didn’t realize what I actually had and could have used!

A couple of days later, I came to church and saw that one of the sunflowers by the light post was lying parallel to the ground. I went to investigate, and found the plant perfectly healthy and simply growing sideways. At some point, it must have gotten knocked over, but the roots weren’t pulled all the way out of the ground. They continued to grow deeper and the exposed part toughened up and gained a sort of thick skin. The five foot stalk lay pretty much paralell to the grass and the bud simply turned its face toward the sky. The whole plant adjusted to this new reality and did just fine. In due time it bloomed fully and beautifully and even had a good crop of seeds to share with the birds! Regardless of what it wanted, if a sunflower can want anything, it adjusted to what "was" and did just fine!

In July of that summer, I worshipped with a colleague of mine because I had the Sunday off. During her sermon she handed out a sheet of quotes, entitled “Let Go.” One line said, “To ‘let go’ is not to try to change or blame another. It’s to make the most of myself.” And another line says, “To ‘let go’ is to stop regretting the past so I can grow and live for the future.”

That summer, the universe gave me three opportunities to get the message which I share with you now. Life doesn’t always give you what you want, but it gives you something – make the most of it! You can’t undo the past, even if the past was just a second ago and you can’t change what already is. You can only change what comes next. Pay attention to what is so you can make the most of what can be! Ask God to help you adjust to whatever comes your way and to work it for your good - even if it means adjusting your point of view, slowing down, or letting go.