What a friend we have...

As I prepared for a memorial service recently, I got down my copy of Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet" to see if there was a nice, poetic nugget I might be able to use. I found these lines in the passage about friendship:

"Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace. . . . [W]hat is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

At membership class recently, one person said she wanted to become a member of the church because she'd "fallen in love with God, again" after becoming a regular attender. I think being in love with God, having God as a friend, sharing pleasures and laughter with God, reaping thanksgiving that's born out of a good connection on a regular basis sounds like a really good description of what it means to be a Christian. God is there to fill our needs, to fill our lives with meaning, to fill our hours with life...to show us how to be whole and balanced and joyful. Yep, that's the kind of friendship I want to develop. Not always going to God just when I'm burdened, but when I'm ready for a good belly laugh. It starts with just spending time, though, doesn't it?

After all, my best buddy Susan got to be my best friend over many dinners in the dining hall at BGSU and study sessions and games of billiards. Our friendship grew in the little things, and was there to sustain us in the big ones - like when our fathers died, or when her husband disappeared in a suicidal funk with at least one loaded hand gun. It was the same with my partner, Stephanie. We started out spending time because we had a mutual friend. Small talk became getting together for lunch once in a while which became long afternoons talking while the kids played at the local park...which deepened into a love that lasted 22 years. Can you imagine having that sort of relationship develop with God? Wow - that's worth aiming for! And it starts with little things that are like dew in the morning, refreshing the soul.

Not sure how to get started? Well, having mutual friends might help. Come to church; join a yoga class or a reading group; start hiking or getting out in nature; sing with a choir; join a 12-step support group. Let other people help introduce you to the One you want to be friends with. Let them help fill the silences while you find your own comfort level and the issues you connect with best. Let some activities help you get comfortable in each others' presence. Eventually, you won't need the help of others or the crutch of a structured activity, just as friends eventually move beyond going to dinner and a movie and slip into being able to just call each other up at 2am when they need to talk. And trust me - what better bff could you possibly ask for?